Simple, everyone plays nice.

Let me elaborate. People get caught up in many training ideas which have been passed down from others regarding how to interact and manage multi-dog homes. The advice often goes like this: the alpha/oldest/longest in residence dog always gets...

-Attention first
-Fed first
-First/primary access to toys/space
-To behave towards the other dogs as they wish

This is a perfect recipe for creating friction, and it’s a lot of BS. First of all, there should only be one “alpha”, and that’s you. (Not my word choice, but it’s the one often used.) Allowing any of your dogs with a stronger personality to share that personality as they see fit, is a perfect way to create friction and fights. A dog with a stronger personality is already going to be prone to bullying, allowing that will only invite stronger bullying. As for the older dog, or the dog of longest residence, same thing—no special privileges. Even if this dog doesn’t have a strong personality, allowing them to have first access to resources, and likely treating them as more special (aka spoiling), can easily create a tyrant where there wasn’t one.

Whether you’re attempting to maintain some kind of hierarchy in which the dogs “work it out”, or you’re just letting your heart and sentimentality guide you, they’re both dangerous avenues. Instead of clinging to old school notions, or emotionally-based inclinations, commit to running your multi-dog home in a smart, informed, and appropriately detached fashion.

This means you analyze the individual personalities and proclivities of each dog, and YOU ensure that all the personality pieces fit. Instead of giving special privileges which might create resentment or entitlement, or allowing behavior which might create friction and possibly fights, you demand that every dog behaves appropriately. You allow zero bullying, you correct excitement which overwhelms the other dog, you address any guarding or posturing, you keep a watchful eye on all resources and how each individual dog behaves around them, and you clearly, and unequivocally, and unapologetically...lead your home.

Every dog in the home should know exactly, 100%, without any doubt who is in charge. And if they don’t, regardless of how it comes to pass, you shouldn’t be surprised if the peace isn’t kept.

While I often hear the common training refrain: “Just train the dog in front of you”, I rarely see it manifest in a truly nuanced, and sensitive fashion. That’s not a dig, but rather a reminder that it’s very easy to say things which sound good, but far more challenging to put them into action.

When I’m working with a dog, I’m keenly focused on being hyper-sensitive to all the information coming back to me. This involves far more than just superficial observations. It means you need to let the animal in YOU take in the animal you’re working with. Because the animal in you is far more sensitive and aware of the multitude of large, as well as barely, if not completely imperceptible information being shared by the dog. The overly-intellectual human animal will revert to attempting to process the information in small, limited pieces and place that information in appropriately small, limited ‘boxes’. Because the conscious, intellectual mind can’t take in nearly the amount of information that our unconscious, animal mind can. And it certainly can’t process it fast enough.

And that leaves us not only vulnerable to negative, possibly dangerous interactions, it also means the way we teach and move the dog through the training process will also likely suffer.

But let me be clear, our human, intellectual animal needs to be present as well, but in my opinion, needs to take a bit of a backseat, or at least much more of a co-pilot position. In a perfect world, you want both, and you want to be able to lean on both, and leverage both, moment to moment.

While I can’t teach you how to tap into your more animalistic side, I can provide you with some things I’ve noticed I look at and adjust when I’m in the zone I’m speaking of.

These are things to teach yourself to consciously apply and assess, and then over time, like anything we practice enough, hopefully they’ll become embedded in you and will manifest unconsciously for best application...and consciously for when you need to explain or communicate them to others. You’re looking for what helps, and what harms, and how to best implement the results.

-Body motion: are you fluid or are you too angular, are you moving too fast and making the dog nervous/overwhelmed, how are your overall motions, proximity, angles and approaches?
-Verbal: is your volume, tone, speed of articulation helping or hindering focus/learning safety or risk?
Pressure: are the tools being used too firmly/too softly, are the tools the best for the job, is there too much spatial pressure/not enough, is the environment (dogs, people, noise etc.) causing too much pressure/stress and interfering with learning?
-Motivation: do you need more or less, is the dog becoming mopey and tuned-out or amped up and possibly dangerous?
-Arc of Learning: are you moving too fast/too slow, is the dog confused or not prioritizing, is the dog naturally more anxious/stressed/slower, are any of the above compromising the process?

All of these, and many more factors are at play, and they’re impacting the dog you’re working with, guaranteed. The goal is to be hyper-sensitive about your information, and also hyper-sensitive about the information coming back to you. Work on this process of enhanced awareness, on both ends, and you’ll truly be serving the dog, and yourself.

Just remember, intellect will almost always attempt to trump instincts and your inner animal. It’s where we ‘live’ most often, and are most comfortable, but it’ll shortchange your outcomes...and not just with dogs.

By Sean O’Shea

By Sean O'SheaOne of the best ways to create an anxious, hyped-up, destructive, barking, whining, howling, crate-breaking, separation anxiety filled dog, is to share an effusive goodbye.Even when you leave without fanfare, it's already hard on your dog. They're likely already somewhat worried and concerned...worked up emotionally.So the last thing you want to do is make something that's already difficult for your dog...a thousand times worse.The tendency for us is to want to connect and communicate to our dogs. We want them to know we love them. That we're coming back. That we're sorry. That everything will be okay.And that's exactly how you make everything not okay.Even though the intention is 100% positive, the actual outcome for the dog is the opposite. They're left feeling confused, worked up, excited, emotionally stimulated. And then - you leave.Then they're left with all the emotional elevation, and nowhere to put it. The contrast, from what you just shared, to what they're now left with is enormous. And that energy and stimulation you created has to go somewhere. So it goes into all the negative stuff I described above.You basically leave your dog holding the emotional bag. Your intentions were to calm and soothe, but what they created was suffering and overwhelm.I know that's not what you want. And it's not what your dog wants either. Trust me.If you really want to help your dog feel better. If you really want your dog to not worry. If you really want you dog to relax while you're away, then don't load them up with physical and emotional juice prior to leaving. Just leave. Just make it as normal and non-eventful as possible. Just be neutral. Just go.Understand that what you're trying to convey isn't landing the way you want, and it certainly isn't creating the positive, comforting reaction you desire. Understand that if your heart is wanting you to reach out and soothe, make sure your brain overrides it. Understand that as connected as we are, certain communications get severely lost in translation.Even though your human heart may feel cold and uncaring by just leaving, your dog won't receive it like that. His or her feelings won't be hurt, they won't think you don't love them, and they won't hold an emotional grudge. On the contrary, you'll actually be helping them. Helping them to feel more comfort, more calm, more relaxation, and more acceptance of your departure.And that's what you really want. :)

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By Sean O'SheaTherapy. It's a messy, uncomfortable, and often painful process. We all know going in that there's a good chance of tears, overwhelm, panic, uncertainty.A therapists gig is to help you dig down into the muck of your experiences, trauma, and pain, examine it all, process it all, feel it all, and then, by giving you new tools and support, hopefully help you move on in the most healthy fashion possible.Lots of folks avoid therapy because it's hard and often painful. It's much easier to distract ourselves with all manner of "stuff", and hope it will all be okay.But if you're willing to dive in, be vulnerable, and do the work, amazing things can happen. But there's no escaping the hard work, the discomfort, pain, and the challenge of the process.Do we always look happy in therapy? Are we always smiling and laughing? Is it the most fun point of your day? Probably not. Is it the most beneficial part of your day...probably.People in therapy are often found crying, trembling, overwhelmed and freaked out as they attempt to navigate their interior world.Breaking old patterns, finding new insights and awareness...all good stuff...good stuff that doesn't always look so good.I see rehab with dogs in much the same way I do therapy for humans. Are their differences? Of course. We can't have the same verbal conversations and we can't communicate emotions and best approaches for forward movement in the same way. But, are we working through trauma, anxiety, toxic patterns and beliefs? Absolutely.So knowing all that, why on earth would we expect a dog, who's going through major transformational stuff, to always look happy? Why would we expect these complex creatures to just happily, easily, and seamlessly adjust to their entire worlds changing? Shouldn't we expect some emotional fallout? Shouldn't we see some therapy-like discomfort and overwhelm as they attempt to navigate unchartered mental and behavioral waters?This is what always perplexes me. Folks want dogs to be trained and rehabbed and transformed...but they don't want the dog to have to experience any discomfort or uncertainty as they do so. They want the dogs to magically transform and skip all that nasty, not fun stuff. People freak out if they see a dog shaking as it lays in place or looking unsure or afraid. Even though all that's been done is that the dog's pattern's been blocked, or it's in a new environment, or it's simply not being allowed to act out as usual.The patterns being broken create temporary stress and anxiety. The dog, finding itself in unfamiliar territory is freaked out...just like the person on the couch in the therapists office. But even though we get it for us, we struggle seeing it with dogs.Of course the goal of therapy, or training, isn't to keep the human or dog in a state of discomfort and anxiety or stress. It's meant to be a gateway to the opposite - more comfort, less anxiety, less stress. But that takes time and growth. And neither species gets a free pass or a shortcut.And while it might be hard to watch dogs in an uncomfortable state, if we can see them in a deeper fashion (emotionally, pattern wise, trauma bearing etc.), and understand that they too have to go through difficult stuff to come out on the other side, we might just be able to see things a little differently.We see this arc of shock, confusion, adapting, processing, and growth constantly. It's not always pretty, and it's not always "done" by the time the dog goes home. Many dogs need months of continuous work to finally reach their comfy, happy, easy space. This is why some folks remark that dogs in our program don't always look "happy". I'm okay with that, I don't love it, just like I'm sure the therapist doesn't love seeing people in pain, but I do appreciate it, because I know it's leading the dog somewhere.Somewhere far better than where they were when they showed up.So the next time you see a picture or video of a dog being trained, and if the dog doesn't look ecstatic and bouncy, take a moment, learn what the dog came in with, what's being worked on, and maybe you'll be able to see that he's going through a process, a transformation. One that's unfinished.

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By Sean O'SheaIf you're lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the current friction in the dog training world, let me ruin that for you. :)There's an approach that goes by various names. It might be called pure positive, force free, or rewards based. The concept is simple: for dogs, life and learning should always be 100% fun, comfortable, and enjoyable. You reward the behavior you like, and ignore the behavior you dislike. No tools or approaches that might impinge on 100% fun, comfortable, and enjoyable should ever be used. Anything that makes the dog uncomfortable is labeled inhumane.It's purported to be "scientifically based", extremely modern, and highly evolved (even though it eschews 3 of the 4 learning quadrants science accepts.) It's a new and better way to learn. Consequences, and all that nasty stuff the rest of us creatures learn by, are all unnecessary. It's incredibly popular, has the best built-in marketing (who wouldn't want to just use treats and love to create good behavior?), and has a near-religious, cult-like following among its devotees.The only issue is, it doesn't really work.Let me clarify. It works really, really well to teach certain things. If you want your dog to "know" how to sit, down, place, recall, beg, roll over, shake, or do any number of behaviors or tricks, it's awesome. But there's a rub. There's a big difference between "knowing" and reliably performing something. Your dog can "know" all day long and still not do...especially when you need it most. Also, there's the little matter of it not working at all to teach what is absolutely NOT okay - dog aggression or human aggression, reactivity on leash, resource guarding, jumping, counter-surfing, poop eating, just to name a few.In other words, it's a great yes, but a terrible no.But, if you listen to the devotees, they'll tell you it does it all, with any dog. It creates absolutely reliable recalls...even around squirrels and other dogs. It creates awesome, non-pulling walks, eradicates reactivity on-leash, stops jumping, fixes human or dog aggression, and makes resource guarding a thing of the past. And all without any of those nasty tools, or having to be "mean" to your dog.So we've got all these claims of awesome results, all done in a loving, kind, aversive-free fashion. There's mountains of books, DVDs, workshops, and websites, all claiming amazing results and help for those in need. We've got trainers swearing they can do seriously amazing rehab with seriously tough dogs. We've heard legendary tales of truly nasty aggression being turned around. Heavy-duty reactivity issues totally sorted. The most challenging behaviors, and all of it better handled and better solved. And once again, all achieved without those damn tools, consequences, or leadership stuff.I mean, come on, that's amazing. That's like dog trainer rockstar stuff. That's the stuff that changes the world...or at least the industry. That's the stuff you can't wait to see in action. The stuff you can't wait to witness and cheer on.Except...When you go to find it, to cheer it on...you can't. It's not there. All that awesomeness has been misplaced, or tucked away somewhere. Maybe it's so awesome that you need to join a club or get some private access code?It's a head scratcher for sure. Where is it all? Why can't you find all this great stuff. Surely the folks who have this knowledge can't wait to capture it on video and share it with the rest of the world. Surely they want to help dog owners and other trainers see this great stuff so they can all make more evolved, more enlightened decisions. Right? If you truly loved dogs you'd want everyone to have access to this great information. Right?But alas, when you go searching, it's nowhere to be found. Not the serious stuff. Sure you can find videos of cupcake dogs, purported to be "serious" at one point, that were never really a challenge doing great. But all that heavy-duty stuff? Crickets.And that's where you have to ask some hard questions. If this approach is one devised by dog lovers, who only want the best for dogs, and if this approach is truly revolutionary, why would those with this information and ability keep it to themselves? Why would dog lovers rob other dog lovers who are struggling? Why would they keep something so helpful, for so many, a secret?And you really only have two possible answers. One, they don't care enough about dogs and owners to share what they know and how they do it. Or two, they can't do what they say.Or maybe there's a third. Maybe it's both. Maybe the only true priority is the agenda, the religion. Maybe dogs and owners aren't the priority at all. Maybe real results and real caring aren't the North Star of this religion. Maybe this religion is about something else altogether.Maybe this religion is actually more about rescuing broken people by way of rescuing dogs. The dogs, their owners, and their issues aren't the focus. They're the window dressing. They're the camouflage used to distract from the true motive of the religion: the practitioners attempting to heal or retroactively protect themselves by way of protecting dogs, from what they see as parallels of their own disempowerment, lack of boundaries, and coping with what they didn't desire in their own lives.The dogs, the owners, the truth, don't matter. All that matters is that that nagging pain within subsides.That's the religion.

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